Desert Mountain Children's Center

“Our Mission: The relentless pursuit of whatever works in the life of a child.”

Supporting Kids with Mental Health Challenges Through the Holidays

Steering Committee

December 01, 2024

With a couple of holidays down and a few more to go, and as we head into the “most wonderful time of the year,” the sheer number of things to do, events to attend, meals to plan, and family to host, can become overwhelming. Children and youth who struggle with behavioral/mental health challenges such as, autism spectrum disorder (ASD), attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety, depression, and/or sensory issues can experience the holidays differently than typically developed kids. Things like breaking from routine, travel, loud music, bright lights, fancy clothes, and lots of people around can all be difficult to manage for kids with behavioral/mental health challenges.

Here are some tips for teachers to help students with behavioral/mental health challenges plan for the winter break and upcoming holidays:

• Recognize that not all kids look forward to extended breaks from school
• School typically provides these kids with the stability and structure they crave and
• School may also provide the only food they get and the only positive social interactions they may have in the day
• Be aware of how you talk about the break
• Rather than asking who is excited for the break, ask about plans for the break
• Challenge your kids to come up with ways they can be of service to others during the break
• Pay attention and listen
• Check in with those students who may be acting out more than usual or whose behavior is noticeably different during this time
• Take time to really listen to what they share
• Keep as close to the regular routine as possible leading up to the break
• Prepare students ahead of time for any changes in routine
• Try shortening time spent on the regular subjects or periods of the day rather than cutting an entire subject or period
• Teach stress reduction techniques
• Teach and practice deep breathing exercises
• Teach and practice easy to do yoga moves
• Teach and practice mindfulness
• Teach and practice brain breaks
• Remind students to utilize these techniques when stressed
• Provide resources
• If you know a student is struggling, connect them to resources or at least to someone who can provide resources
• Help them prepare a plan of who to contact if things become overwhelming
• Help students come up with ways they can serve others
• Perform acts of kindness for each other, their neighbors
• Write letters to military personnel overseas
• Brainstorm ideas for activities during the break
• Improve physical activity
• Spend more time outdoors
• Start a new book series
• Work on an art project
• Track the ideas on a poster board or electronic document in the classroom leading up to the break so students can inspire each other
• Connect with the students who may be struggling over the break
• An email halfway through the break to check in
• Send a card through the mail
• Letting your students know you are thinking about them will help them feel connected and cared for

Here are some tips for caregivers/parents to plan for the winter break and upcoming holidays:

• Prepare child(ren) for the upcoming break
• Start talking about the break at the beginning of December so it does not come as a surprise
• Create as much structure during the break as you can
• Create a written or visual schedule
• Ensure child(ren) have access and can check the schedule throughout the day
• Find things for child(ren) to do – to create as much routine and structure as possible
• Day camp
• Library story hours
• Museum hours
• Kid friendly activity centers
• Keep waking and sleep times as much as possible
• This will make it easier to return to school after the break
• If you can, host the family gathering
• Provides child(ren) a familiar place to go if they are feeling overwhelmed
• If you can’t, make sure you connect with the host ahead of time to find a possible space that your child(ren) can retreat to, if needed
• If hitting the road for a long road trip bring LOTS of activities
• Games to play – you can create your own or bring along a travel game board
• Bucket of toys or coloring books
• Relax the screen time rules while traveling
• Bring lots of their favorite snacks
• Take long potty breaks – allow it to also be a stretch our legs and get the wiggles out break
• Prior to arriving at the gathering, find a place where your child(ren) can stretch their legs and get refreshed just before arriving to the gathering
• For child(ren) with ASD – car rides are easier than air/bus/train rides
• The car is a familiar space
• Allows more time to concentrate on a specific activity
• No airports, bus stations, train stations in which to maneuver boarding, changes in schedule, people, waiting times, etc.
• Have as much information as you can about where you are going and what you will be doing and give your child(ren) explicit expectationss
• Review behavioral expectations at other peoples’ houses
• Be as specific as possible
• Children know they behave differently at church/synagogue/temple than they do on the playground – explain that this is similar
• Discuss social expectations both with child(ren) and relatives/friends
• Once you arrive, allow child(ren) a warmup time before forcing them to greet family members and friends they may have not seen for a long time and do not recognize
• Do not force child(ren) to hug or kiss anyone they are not comfortable with
• Let child(ren) know that it is ok to turn folks down
• Do not expect kids to suddenly be able to do things they usually cannot
• A child who does not like to hug to hug grandma
• A child with selective mutism to speak
• A child with autism to be able to sit with adults at dinner if not used to it
• Let your child(ren) know they can come find you if there is a conflict they cannot resolve on their own
• Talk to your friends/relatives ahead of time regarding your child’s challenges and your expectations and plans for them
• Child(ren) with ADHD do well when given a “job”
  • Watching younger kids”
  • Help set the table
  • Take coats when people arrive (with host permission if you are not the host)
  • Be sure to let them know they can take a break when needed
• If you have a picky eater
• Let the host know ahead of time
• Let the host know you will either bring your child’s food and just need a microwave to heat it up or that your child will come already fed if close to home
• Bringing your child’s favorite plate and cup might help them try new things
• Encourage your child to try new things but don’t force it – praise them when they do try something new
• Encourage friends/relatives to not discuss weight or food if you have a child with body sensitivity issues
• Keep clothing comfortable and simple for child(ren) with sensory issues
• Think festive colors vs specific outfits or matching clothes
• If your child will tolerate a dressier outfit, consider layering with a soft t-shirt underneath
• Typically, leggings are more comfortable than tights and bow ties are better than neckties
• If gift-giving and gift-getting is a challenge
• Role play opening presents so your child can practice saying thank you even when it is a gift they do not like
• Help relatives with the gift giving by giving relatives and friends specific items or links to things your child likes
• Experiences may work better for some children that do not enjoy opening gifts – things like a museum membership, sensory friendly event or place, another event that your child might enjoy
• Praise good behavior
• Let your child(ren) know when they are doing a good job listening or sharing or sitting quietly or trying new things
• Let them know you are proud of them
• “Comfort kit”
• Let them know you are proud of them
• Pajamas
• Comfy clothes
• Favorite blanket – book – toy - snack
• Headphones
• Check in with child once at the event and throughout the time you are there
• Shop online or without your child(ren)
• Stores during the holidays can be overwhelming for children – especially for those with ADHD
• Pick and choose which events you will be attending
• You do not have to go to everything
• More “active” events work well for kids with ADHD
• Make sure you plan for down time in between visits to family – to give child(ren) time to recover in-between visits
• Manage your own expectations
• Rather than focusing on what you think the holidays should look like
• Identify one or two things you want your kids to get out of the holiday
• An idea
• A value
• A memory
• Work on achieving that

The winter break and holiday season can be inherently stressful, but if you manage your expectations, prepare your children, and develop and stick to a realistic plan that meets your family’s needs, you may just find yourself celebrating in peace and enjoying your time together.

References:

1. Not Every Student Looks Forward to Winter Break
2. How to Help Students Deal with Holiday Stress
3. 24 Ways to Make the Holidays Kid-Friendly
4. How to Take the Stress Out of Family Gatherings
5. 11 ADHD holiday tips

Resources:

• Grief Over the Holidays: Educators Can Help Students Cope
• Helping Children With Selective Mutism During the Holidays
• 11 ADHD holiday tips
• Tips For Surviving The Holidays With A Child Who Has Learning And/Or Behavioral Challenges
• Calming the Chaos: Stress-Reducing Strategies for Children During the Holiday Hustle
• Are You Ready for the Holidays With Your Challenging Child?
• How to Handle Holidays After a Death in the Family
• Enjoy the Holidays With Mindfulness
• 7 holiday survival tips for parents of kids with behavior challenges
• If you need to talk, the 988 Lifeline is here.
• This holiday season, give back by helping people with mental health conditions get the help they need, when they need it.
• Turn hope into help this holiday season
• Working to ensure that mental wellbeing is a reality for everyone.